Tumblr lets you effortlessly share anything. Post text, photos, quotes, links, music, and videos, from your browser, phone, desktop, email, or wherever you happen to be. You can customize everything, from colors, to your theme’s HTML.
Below is my Tumblr feed which I have imported to this blog. Again, it will update automatically as I share links, photos, news stories, and such to my Tumblr page. It will list 10 things at a time.
WOW. Oh wow. My life is starting to look and feel normal again. When I say that I mean that I have gone in several different directions lately, looking to be fulfilled with whatever, or because it is something I thought I needed, or I did it because I allowed myself to be influenced by others and to thinking I wasn’t good enough the way I was.
So, I’ve learned a valuable lesson. I like myself the way I am, yes, there is always room to grow but not to the extent where I need to change my whole life or do things I don’t even like just because, well, never mind. I’m not saying that I didn’t learn some things by going off in different directions or by trying new things. I did, boy did I; I learned exactly that I do not need to try to be someone I’m not.
I just want to live my simple quiet life. I don’t need all that hoopla to feel good.
Holy hell! I finally finished something I started. WOW. I don’t know how to act.
No, I didn’t do the official NaBloPoMo site for May where their theme was apparently, “Look Up” but I did blog every day in May as I said I would. Do you know how many other times I tried to do NaBloPoMo and FAILED? Lots.
It feels good to finally be a victor! Yes, I know I did some cheaty pants posts by only putting up pictures of the lolcats but the point is that I sat down in front of the Mac, logged in, and made an effort. Ha! That’s what I’m telling myself anyway.
I know I have two NaBloPoMo badges up but I LOVE giraffes and also wanted to put a kitty cat up there as well. They are both so cute.
No matter what sort of half-assed new venture I find myself going off on, it usually ends with disappointment but it always goes back to writing.
I will start some sort of hair brained idea only to quit months later. Then I return to writing.
Writing is always there for me, waiting patiently. I love writing. I love thinking about writing. I love writing on my Mac. I love writing with a Sharpie pen in my Moleskine. I love putting words together to make a sentence. I love creating that story. I love building characters. I even love the struggle between editor/critic and the creative youngster within. So why do I spend so much time avoiding something I love?
No matter what sort of “other” thing I ever start I always end up coming back to writing. I need to stick with it, even when it gets difficult and especially when it gets to be real work. I need to submit some things because I think they are good. Did I just give myself a compliment? Eeegads. Writing is the ONE thing, I think, I am good at or can be better at with practice. I’m not talking about the actual grammar and punctuation part of writing, no, I suck at that and don’t have a problem admitting I need help in that area. I am speaking of the creative portion of writing, the ability to work with words to convey a message from a certain point of view.
Nonetheless, I still struggle with writing but I even love that part of it too. I like what my friend commented to one of my most recent blog entries, this is what she typed:
I discovered that Inspiration is fleeting and you can’t wait for her to come to you when it’s convenient. When she shows up you have to wrestle that bitch to the ground and choke every thing you can out of her!
Go read the rest of her wisdom. I added the BOLD, cause damn, it needed to be BOLDED. I think I will get that tattooed on my forearm or inside wrist or something. Heh. Just kidding.
Here are some other quotes about writing from some of my favorite authors,
“I hear people say they’re going to write. I ask, when? They give me vague statements. Indefinite plans get dubious results. When we’re concrete about our writing time, it alleviates that thin constant feeling of anxiety that writers have – we’re barbecuing hot dogs, riding a bike, sailing out in the bay, shopping for shoes, even helping a sick friend, but somewhere nervously at the periphery of our perception we know we belong somewhere else – at our desk!” – Natalie Goldberg
“The writer must believe that what he is doing is the most important thing in the world. And he must hold to this illusion even when he knows it is not true.” – John Steinbeck.
“Close the door. Write with no one looking over your shoulder. Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s the one and only thing you have to offer.” – Barbara Kingsolver.
“Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.” – Mark Twain.
Those were just a few, I have lots more that I like.
But now it’s time for me to come up with my own.
I’ll leave you with one of my favorite movies, actresses in a writing scene:
Man oh man, ever since the middle part of April I have been off my game, way off. If the truth be known it really started in August of 2009 but I’d say in April is when I totally went off course and lost my mind.
Things were done and said on my part that I regret. I hope I have learned some things along the way and I will try not to exhibit that sort of behavior again. I’ve done my amends and now it’s up to something bigger than me to reconcile matters. I accept whatever results come my way. I’m braced and ready.
Now I have to move on, memories in tow but not to reflect back morbidly, using these experiences as lessons. I shall tuck them away in my “spiritual took kit” to pull out when needed – either to help someone else or to remember how NOT to behave.
No more exams
No more getting The Girl up to make sure she is ready
No more school traffic
No more looking online to check grades
No more homework
No more driving a seven hour round trip to retrieve The Boy for the weekends
I’m sure the kids could come up with some “no mores” of their own as well.
But now we are on to summer and keeping them busy. Err excuse me, I mean productive. Creating a schedule is important, with chores AND free time for the kids. Time to get creative.
All in all, the kids did great this year at school. I’m very proud of them both. They are getting rewarded for it too, I can’t say anything here yet though. But they’ll like it.
Why is it that I have so many ideas to write about and then when it comes time to sitting down to blog them my ideas have abandoned me? I don’t know.
Really, though, all throughout the day I have ideas coming to me but when I sit down to blog my mind goes blank. I don’t get it. Perhaps I haven’t developed the skill, yet, to develop the idea and to actually work on an article. I get these one or two lines of ideas and then *poof* it is gone or I don’t try to develop it. When it comes time to sit and actually do the hard part to write it out, my critic voice comes into play and tells me all sorts of things like, “Why would anyone on earth be interested in reading that crap?” That’s just one example.
Anyway, this is day 27 of my blogging every day in May and for someone who says she likes to write, I can’t WAIT for May to be done and over.
That’s it, that is all the energy I have for this entry.
Wow. I had some big ole mean rant built up to blog about tonight but I am glad I waited. After some time passing, and after watching Idol and Glee I am so glad I didn’t post it now. So not worth it.
WOW. I’ve blogged for 24 days straight, or sort of anyway.
I’m not looking for a pat on the mouse pad or anything, I was just blogging that out loud because it surprised me, that’s all.
Twenty four days of May have slipped by in a blink of an eye. I’ve had absolutely nothing to say about any of it either.
Right now I’m watching everyone in NYC Tweeting the red blue carpet walk by the stars of Sex and the City 2. They are not supplying photos though. Boo.
June 5, 2010 
Posted by c.a. marks in Variety
1 Comment »
But they’ll like it.
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